At the beginning of my walk, I set my pace by inhaling slowly for four steps, then exhaling slowly for the next four steps. That gets everything in sync. After a bit, I slip into my natural gait, which is two and two. Coming back home, like a old horse in a rush to return to the stable, I kick it in to high gear – inhale deep on one, then take long, strong strides as I exhale on two, three and four – an earnest pace that clears the lungs and gives the heart one final workout, delivers me to my respite in peace and contentment, lost, at least for those moments, from the pain of this world.
But last night, there was no rest. I sat stunned by the degree with which white sedition is pampered while black grief is assaulted. I was reminded of my trip to the Brown v. Board of Education Museum in Topeka. In one room a video was playing of the crowds screaming in anger because their children were being asked to be in the same school building as a little black girl. My own grief overwhelmed me then, when I realized that I was seeing the exact same faces that I see at Trump rallies. The same bitter, hateful anger. I broke down, I had to leave. I wasn’t prepared for such hopelessness.
My tears from that day stay have remained with me. I can walk out of the museum, but I can’t walk out on the world around me. Going forward, it seems, there’s a certain pace required. It’s the quick four beats of urgency and determination. Inhale one, step two, step three, step four. Stay in rhythm, keep up the pace, resume and repeat.
With the first step, take a full breath, open the lungs – fill them with air from the Edmund Pettus Bridge in the spring of 1967 or the Fair Fight offices in Georgia in the fall of 2020. Fill them with the memories of the losses as well as the victories. Fill them with the air of any room anywhere when the truth is spoken.
On the count of two, step away from privilege. Step away from racial privilege; from sexual privilege; from economic privilege. Step into the arms of humanity, unity and justice.
On three – step away from complacency. Temper arduous work with a commitment to joy and decency. Feed the soul to build the temple.
On four – finally, we must step away from fear; fear of the unknown; fear of the other; fear of ourselves. Trust will stand by when fear has gone.
It’s a long march to freedom. Begin now. Step in time: One (breathe), Two, Three, Four. Resume and repeat.
I hope you travel far, with justice as a staff, and peace as a cloak . Resume and repeat.